In Search of Peace

For the past week I have been working on a blog post that I had hoped would summarize my past session with the girls. I have been stuck. I have been stuck, and I am sick and tired of being stuck. In all honesty, I struggled a lot this session. I struggled with feeling inadequate, I struggled with feeling judgemental, I struggled with exhaustion. I struggled. And you know what the worst part of it all was? I let these feelings have control over me. Something inside of me forced me to stay in these feelings and I thought I could function with these mindsets. Nothing could make me feel better. Not the numerous conversations/venting moments with my coworkers. Not screaming to myself in the cabin. Not complaining to friends near and far. Nothing helped and I struggled. I just got off the phone with a wonderful friend (Carrie) that always helps me keep life in perspective, and she prayed with me- right there on the phone while I sat in this little coffee shop- she prayed . I was about to cry. I have spent the past couple months in this session with little stress balls building inside me, and most of the time I did not turn to God and I didn't even turn to those people that I knew could help the most. As Carrie and I were talking I slowly felt my burdens lifting. I feel refreshed. I don't feel completely better yet, but I feel on a path toward peace in my job, relationships, and future. (Okay, my future is still a bit sketchy). Anyway, as you have read I have had some great moments this session, but underlying it all were these personal struggles. Continue to pray for me as I continue to pray for and think about you all.

Peace and remember that our kids are the future. Love them and give them the things they need to be self-confident, self-sufficient people ready to help society.